I am scared again. Even before I’ve gotten the chance to be in love, I’m already afraid of getting hurt again. I’m seeing someone new, and he has been so very wonderful and unexpected. But because we’re both at this precarious age where every single relationship move must.mean.something. I feel almost paralyzed. I feel I haven’t the capability and freedom to just enjoy the moment and that slow, sweet dance of getting to know one another and falling in love. We’re not 25 where we can throw caution to the wind. We’re 30. We’ve both had our share of relationships, past hurts, and regrets. And at 30 we can’t just haphazardly date. Inevitably, whomever we date has to be a potential mate. The tragic thing about this is, we’re formulating all the ways a relationship couldn’t possibly work, instead of exploring maybe why it could. We’re killing it, even before it’s had a chance to thrive.
The odds are against us- a giant set of issues, hangups, regrets, and “what if’s” that could kill us. Two, single, hard-working professionals, who respectively have their own set up hangups, and who may potentially spend the better part of the relationship apart than together. But then I think about the miraculous way we met, and I am humbled. I look above to a God who’s ever present and has somehow guided our footsteps toward one another. With faith as my weapon and courage as my armor, I hope against hope- that yes, maybe something incredible could happen. If there is but a shred of effort, a scrap of honesty, then we might just be able to stare down the odds and take a chance on something extraordinary like love. And not just any kind of love… the kind that moves mountains and makes you believe that no matter how improbable the odds, anything is possible.